Why is it so important to reconnect with our authenticity and how can music help us achieve that?
Lately I’ve been reading and listening a lot about how trauma occurs and how it affects our psyche, personality, subconscious: in other words, how it determines the rest of our life. The problem is that a normal person’s life will undergo not one, but a series of traumas, more or less impactful but still relevant. The important thing is to understand that we can heal our wounds. Music and especially making music can play a fundamental role in our healing process, by reconnecting with our lost authenticity.
I had heard some of Dr Gabor Maté’s quotes and short explanations before, but it’s only recently that I started listening to a series of full conferences, reading essays and scripts and following him more actively. First of all, I was blown away by his insight, his deep knowledge and understanding of trauma, his humility and straightforward way to explain such complex matters in layman’s terms. No matter what you do in life and what your focus is in life, I recommend listening or reading such an inspiring soul and mind to anyone.
A major concept is explained by Dr Maté and that’s how trauma originates. We are all born with two fundamental needs: attachment and authenticity. We’re social animals, seeking to belong, to bond, to feel part of a community that we love and loves us in return. On the other hand, we come to light authentic and pure. A newborn does nothing more and nothing less than his true nature commands. Regardless of the acts, there is never anything malicious in his acts but rather a total coherence with his authentic self. What happens is that, in a very few years, that baby starts to give up authenticity to preserve and secure attachments. We all know what that means.
While our rational mind develops, we quickly come to understand that by doing this and that, no matter how hard we’d love to, we might disappoint our parents, our siblings, our friends, relatives and so on. That poses a threat of not belonging, of being rejected. It’s not that we completely give up all of a sudden to do as we truly please, but we gradually (and unconsciously) grow the seed of sacrificing our authenticity in order to keep belonging and meet our closest one’s appreciation.
Well, as Dr Maté explains, the detachment from our authentic self is what causes the trauma. And it will happen several times along the line, causing our souls to gradually fragment more and more. As I heard this, an analogy popped up in my mind: like an Horcrux from the Harry Potter’s saga, our soul leaves little fragments behind every time we feel we have to take the decision of whether to stay attached or be authentic. In this case we are not killing anybody, unlike Voldemort, but you get the idea.
I guess that anyone who is presented with such a remarkable concept can’t help but think: “that’s me”. That’s pretty much accurate. It’s all of us. Undergoing a series of traumas due to this duality of attachment and authenticity is a certainty. There’s (apparently) no way to avoid this. Of course we can hope our early years are less heavy than possible because there is no doubt that there are traumas and traumas; still, understanding and accepting that, to date, this is a precondition and a fundamental rule of the game, gives us a hint of what living is (also) about: dealing and healing from traumas.
Thank God, people like Dr Maté tell us we can heal our wounds and recover. But how can we do it? How can we reverse something that hurt us so much, affecting our way of thinking, acting, feeling and being at a conscious and unconscious level? The answer is simple: by reconnecting with our authenticity. The missing link of a wholesome and purposeful life is being true to yourself. And right now it’s no longer a fancy quote to post on social media but a true prescription. Because not doing so will inevitably make us sick. It’s been doing that ever since actually.
The coping mechanism we develop in response to a trauma will provide us an escape and a shelter in the short run, but will get us sick in the long term. Now, we can “hope” for the lesser of the two evils and in this case our sickness will manifest in behavioral problems, dysfunctional relationships and bonds, stress and anxiety, low self esteem, problems in trusting ourselves and/or others etc. In the most severe cases, we are talking about personality and mental disorders, chronic depression, unbearable stress and anxiety which eventually will trigger autoimmune diseases, tumors and so on.
I don’t know if that’s just me, but this is more than enough to convince me which route I wanna take. Therefore, say that we accept to sail out to find our authenticity because we understand that’s what it takes to get us healed and recover from the suffering, how can we actually pursue this quest?
Well, art is an excellent way. For sure it’s not the only way and it’s not the only thing that we have to make to heal ourselves. But if we are among those who hear the call of any form of art, we’re automatically given an incredible tool to pave our pathway to healing. And by the way: ignoring that call will fall into the other pattern, which means we’re still suppressing authenticity in favor of attachment. Sounds like we don’t have much of a choice, have we?
Well to me, that’s a relief. Knowing that I can only fully embrace my artistic call or I’ll face harsh consequences lays any concern to rest. But how is it that art is connecting with our authentic self and true nature?
One example comes to mind: think about kids. Even better if you can remember when you were a kid. I guess all kids draw and make sketches. Therefore we can say that regardless of what drawing or art will represent for that being in his adult life, we all generally get in touch with a form of art in our early age. Can you picture the image of a child that’s drawing? How liberating and wholesome is that image in your head? A child that’s drawing will do nothing more than using colors, lines and figures as an extension of his vibration, imagination and to express himself. He’s not ashamed of not being technical, he’s not limiting himself because he doesn’t actually know how to draw his mom and dad, a cow, the firemen, a landscape. And that’s the beauty of it: he just does it.
That freedom of just being and expressing through art, the feeling of being playful… Can you remember that? Art can give you that. Thus, it can give you back your authenticity.
Switching to music, music has an added value to me. By all means I’m not calling it superior, but it is undoubtedly a fact that music represents something that’s so powerful to any human being, no matter the culture, religion, race, age, background etc. It gets you traveling at light years of distance in the exact moment you start singing or when your hands touch an instrument; it lets you blend sounds and textures to build worlds that eyes can’t see, but your mind can hear and feel. It builds bridges, highways with your soul and lets you download from the ether, from the intangible, from the transcendental directly into this 3rd dimension. The format of a 3 minute song, of a chorus, a verse is just one possibility. Do not be attached to that. Remember that in past eras, operas were lasting hours. You can compose and play something that doesn’t have a chorus, a verse or any modern structure. Progressive rock and metal taught us we can make sound journeys of 7, 10, 15 or 20 minutes and just don’t care about whether I rationally know if I’m listening to a verse, a bridge or a chorus. There are no boundaries that can't be broken while making music. Remember: first and foremost, you're making it because it heals you.
All this can be yours. Like any language, the skills you need to acquire to feel you’re expressing yourself fully will be up to you. You might be more or less technical but as long as you are being YOU, it’ll do.
That’s the thing I wanna stress out today. We, the music artists, have been given this incredible opportunity to “hear” music’s call. We can draw from her, play with her, find ourselves and, for this, heal. However, too often we’re also corrupting this, because, even after we’re making music quite often, we’re always thinking if people will like it or not, if it’s going to be a hit, how to market it properly, if it’s gonna get me some money in return etc. Again, not a fancy statement and aphorism, but a true prescription: we make music for ourselves first and foremost, because when we are making it, we feel whole, happy, real and true to ourselves. If we make it with this intention, I can guarantee you that giving it up shall never cross your mind, ever again. You would never give up oxygen, because that’s where your life comes from. Think you can? Let me know how long you can hold your breath 😉
In conclusion, I wish to reiterate and express once more the importance of becoming aware of this: we are all traumatized broken people, we all developed coping mechanisms that can get us sick, we all detached several times from our authenticity. Among many other tools, art and music can reconnect you back with the mothership, help you find what you have lost and give back a sense of wholesomeness and purpose that only healing can do. If you heal yourself, you’re already healing the world because the people next to you and whoever will cross your path will receive your higher and healed vibration. A being that now can be attached and authentic.
IMPORTANT: I’m no therapist, physician or doctor. No matter how impactful and amazing music can be in your healing, remember that it is a process that requires attention on many different levels. Do not be afraid nor neglect to seek professional help, if and whenever you’re feeling uneasy with yourself. Wounds and traumas can be healed; just know there are different roles and players that can help you along the way and therapists are definitely part of the journey.
